You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
