Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
