you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
