No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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