I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
