I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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