The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
