i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
