We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I need moral support for this bender
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The ass gains better be worth it
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