That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
