is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
A bitchslap is in order.
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