i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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