he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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