Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
