well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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