you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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