Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize