Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
