After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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