weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
