i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
