Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
