I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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