i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We left the knife in your bed.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
