She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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