I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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