I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
