Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
