Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
