your thong is hanging out like whoa
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
