I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize