you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
