somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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