ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
