she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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