nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
