he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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