and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
