Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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