# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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