I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
