youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
