Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
