she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
