Where are you?
In a non slutty way
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
