i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
