I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
