We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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