If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you didnt know i had herpes?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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