I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Walk of Shame today included voting.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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