You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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