What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
