Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
