the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
