dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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