your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
