i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
