if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
