so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
