Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I forget how to act sober
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize